Ho ho no

Oh, family drama. It’s been quiet on that front for a few months. But today I got an e-mail from my sister-in-law (brother’s wife) asking if we would agree to only send cards/e-mails for birthdays and Christmas in the spirit of “experience vs stuff”.


Now, obviously this is going to sound selfish and everything on my part, and I assure you it’s not about the gifts. It’s about where do you get off trying to make up rules for MY family? I already have a bad taste in my mouth since my husband’s brother’s wife did this same thing about 8 years ago. To my husband’s family. Not hers. I get it, money conscious. That makes sense. But it doesn’t make sense when someone tries to tell someone else’s family what to do. Want to do it with your family? Just fine. My family? Step aside.

It would be one thing if we were the Duggars. But I have one brother and he has a wife. His wife has one brother who has a wife. We have one child, her brother has 2. The kids aren’t part of the deal. With my husband’s family, despite the way it went down, it absolutely makes sense. There are 7 adults/spouses, so that adds up. I’m ok with this. We draw names at Christmas and spend about $25 on this. How do you draw names when you’ll either get one or the other?

My husband and I were talking about it – even if you spend $50 on each for Christmas and birthday that’s $200 a year. I have $200 a year to spend on family. It’s not something that is going to put a financial strain on us.

In the end, no, it’s NOT about giving/receiving, it’s about the manner in which it was presented.